Work

Today was a great day at work. Just to give a little glimpse of some delights I encounter daily, here are a few experiences from the day.

First, there are these apartments where I read meters. I have to go inside each building, three buildings total in the complex. Each has a door with a keybox, a wonder that never ceases to thrill me. Only my special key will open that keybox, revealing another hidden key inside, which then opens the door. I always feel like a spy when opening these, with my cool skills that get me in secret places, yet I also want people to see me and think, "wow, who's that girl? What's she doing here? Don't know, but it must be legit, she can get in the locked door!" My mind is an amazing thing, I know.

Anyway, I open the door which, at this place, is loud enough to wake the dead. Each door sort of BOOMs open, then attempts to slam closed on me. I try to keep the doors propped open, just in case, then descend the stairs and enter what I can only imagine used to be a prison. The building is so creepy. A basement, with cement floors and walls, and all these doors with locks on them, and then all these other rooms with no walls, just bones of structures that seem so much like cells that I can't fathom what else they could be. Then I snake around this labyrinth trying to find meters, and pass walls with spray painted words like "silence=death" and "freedom" on them. The windows located towards the top of the walls are broken and dirty. Can you appreciate the creepiness? Every time I'm down there I see myself getting strangled or something by some half-human who's never seen the light of day...except what comes in the broken window, but you get the point? goo.

Moving on, I later entered a yard where about five or six kids were playing. They looked at me, I explained what I was doing, they followed me to the meter and watched me, then as I was leaving I think one girl asked, "what if she was a bad person?"
To which one little boy replied, "Then I'd kill her."

Uh, what? I walked out of the yard silently repeating the words "then I'd kill her"? Is that really what I heard? Slightly disturbing, yet touching too. Protective little git.

Lastly. I was walking down center street, almost done with my route and feeling pretty happy about that. Let me describe the sexy outfit I was wearing. Grey sweat pants that my dad can fit in, over yoga pants. I look like a little blimp at work. Tennis shoes. A blue sweatshirt that is also rather large, just like I like sweatshirts. Blue. With an orange vest over it, albeit it was billowing alluringly in the wind. A green beanie. Wearing hobo gloves that have the fingers free. Are you getting excited? Well, as I sauntered down the street, I hear this woofing from across the way. I look over, expecting to see a dog, but instead there's just one old gentleman walking the opposite direction. My gaze lingered a little, still wondering if there was a dog in the proximity or if it was only the man, when I hear these romantic words uttered at me:

"I could get you pregnant. Three times a year."

I had passed him by this point, and allowed my face to register the shock I felt at hearing such tempting banter. Indeed!

What would I do without these little gems? I jus' don't know.