Lasts

Thursday night I went with my roommate Jess to get sushi for that last time. I discovered it wouldn't actually be the last time, because my roommate is vegetarian and she got some veggie rolls, so I will be able to as well. The sushi wasn't great and I thought the salmon a tad bit slimy.

Friday night/Saturday morning found me huddled in a corner at 12:30 AM, devouring my last whopper and fries, after working unexpectedly 14 and 1/2 hours with very little to eat. I actually love the whopper jr., but as I was starving and it was my last burger, I went for the full on guy. Granted, it was way too late to be eating such things, but it settled in my stomach uncomfortably and wasn't nearly as good as I thought it would be.

I've been finding this every since I knew I was going to stop eating meat. I allowed myself a grace period, a prep time to accept the fact and make sure I was committed. Yesterday was my last day to eat meat, and I am now going to fruits and veggies, and hopefully more natural foods. But for that intermittent time, when I was in my no eating meat mindset, but still my indulgent, eat your lasts mode, every time I ate meat it wasn't even that good. The first time, at the family picnic in bear lake, I ate a ton of bacon and sausage, realizing for the first time that sausage is pig, and that I think I love pig more than all other meats. I also ate that sketchy tuna salad, knowing I shouldn't be indulging like that but trying to take advantage all the same. And I got horribly sick as punishment.

Had some In-N-Out, a thing of tuna when I was starving at work, all these little lapses, though allowed as August 1st hadn't come along, and every time I thought, this isn't that good, I don't need this.

I guess we'll find out! As I've been talking about this new plan with various people, I've heard about a lot of health benefits coming my way due to my avoidance of meat. That is good, but not my purpose. I made the decision after watching The Cove, a movie about dolphins that get slaughtered for their meat in Japan. I watched this about 8 months ago, and almost made this decision, but decided I couldn't.

Then on my trip to Omaha I had to wait in the airport a really long time, so I bought the book The Whale Warriors, and was instantly sucked into this movement that I apparently feel very strongly about. Same idea, Japanese ships slaughtering whales for meat, although this time they do it in reserved ocean sanctuary, claiming its for scientific research.

The book and movie are not anti-meat eating. They talk about the high levels of intelligence of whales and dolphins, and that we shouldn't capture them and we shouldn't eat them, although as far as eating them goes, they are highly toxic with exorbant levels of mercury that does not get reported on nutrition information for the meat. But for me, it was appalling. To see people kill these animals, slaughter them cruelly, just for their meat, made me so sad.

And I had to take it further. To some people, killing dolphins and whales is just what has been for years. Traditions. No different, except for astounding intelligence, than our killing and eating cows, pigs, chickens. We take something else's life to satisfy our lust. My real decision came when I accidentally killed some small potato bug or something at work, and I felt bad. I don't like killing. I don't like killing anything. Even spiders, which I detest when its in my room. And yet, because I don't see it, I'm okay with eating another creature, because I don't have to kill it, I don't have to know what happens.

It opened up this whole viewpoint of my lack of awareness of what I eat, where it comes from, how its made, and if its at all good for me. According to the book, tuna is horribly high in mercury (something you can't find levels of on the packaging), and the current methods of fishing are destroying the oceans beyond repair. So much of what I put in my body, I'm unaware of the consequences.

So there's my spiel. I am not purporting that everyone become vegetarian. I just decided that for me, personally, to go along with my "peace" idea and desire not to hurt other things, I will not eat something I wouldn't prepare myself. If I wouldn't kill it, if I would be horrified to actually watch it killed, I won't eat it. I did, in this way, decide eggs were okay. I would keep chickens and take their eggs. I almost decided I could kill a chicken, so eating it would be okay. But not now. Not until I really do kill a chicken.

Again, this is in no means an attempt to convert anyone else. I honestly don't want to tell people because I don't want it to sound like I'm right and you're wrong if you don't agree. This is just for myself, something I believe in, but a lifestyle that goes very much against the grain of what I'm used to, with a family of ranchers and hunters that I will probably never inform lest I should become an outcast. (not immediate family, but extended relatives).

But there it is, My commitment to a purer lifestyle for me, and a conservationist approach to the world. My scooter uses way less gas and should hopefully cut down on emissions, (except now I want to ride it everywhere so I find excuses to go places), I won't eat meat and will try to be more conscious of my food, (not eliminating sweets and such yet though. one step at a time), and I may one day up and join sea shephard, run away to sea and attempt to stop the killing, on an issue I've felt passionately about since Free Wiley and just didn't realize it. I guess we'll see what new firsts come along this month.

oh, i found the veggie pattie at subway is quite delicious!