Ode to Dusk

Oh Dusk, thou art so fair
The lovely gleam upon thy hair
Thy precious sky makes me stare
And yearn thy loveliness to share...

Okay so this isn't really that kind of ode. I just realized, driving home tonight as the shadows lengthened and the sky turned a deeper shade of blue, that dusk is my favorite time of day.

I've had this thought before. I think it when I see outlines of mountains, stark guardians standing out solidly against the rest of the hazy world, their forms gaining strength as others blur, colorless and firm.

I've thought it watching sunsets light the sky on fire with brilliant orange and red clouds fanning out from the setting sun.

I've thought it listening to the night sounds, the noises of the world growing quiet while crickets and birds sing their last songs for the day.

But tonight was different. Tonight I realized the real power of dusk. It is in this time as in no other time that I can be completely, unreservedly, myself. There is some magic power that unites my soul to my body, and all images or frustrations or concerns just sort of melt away till all that is left is my bare, rejoicing spirit.

 I spent eight hours today working with a person I do not particularly enjoy being around. I was impatient and silently sarcastic, thinking mean things I would never say to him like:

"I can't imagine how I wouldn't have put that together myself" or

"What could possibly make you think I care about that? Stop talking!!!!"

One lesson to be learned here is that I am mean and judgemental, which is true but not the point. The point is, until dusk I felt anger towards him and resentment that I must spend the time with him. Filled with such unhappy thoughts, my mind obviously was not much geared towards revelling in being alive and I certainly wasn't feeling my-self-ish; I had shut down almost entirely and refused to make any effort to connect with this human being.

Then I looked around at the deepening night. I saw the trees, and the last rays of day shining across to the tops of the mountains. I saw the twinkling lights pop out as people retired to their houses, relaxing at the end of the day in the cozy solitude of home. I saw the first star appear in the sky (planet, whatevs) and the moon gain strength from the dying sun.

And I felt at home. I felt completely at ease, at peace, one with the universe and the road we were hurtling down. I realized I can never be anyone but me at that hour. If someone wanted an honest conversation with me, wanted to really commune with me, that's the hour. There can be nothing but truth. Nothing but open, honest, connection, at dusk. Man it was brilliant. I can't do it justice but I sure enjoyed it.

This does not mean I made any breakthroughs with my coworker. I pretty much ignored him as I had been doing, content to sit quietly and enjoy the revelry. But I was not hostile towards him, I felt no animosity, simply a desire to sit and reflect on my own thoughts.

Dusk dusk a magical time, the more I write the more I rhyme....

okay that one was no good. I apologize.