seriously

Tis a sorry state I find myself in, this very top o' the morn after St. Patty's Day. Lying on my floor in a sleeping bag, eating pizza and downing a gallon of chocolate milk at three in the morning.

Why, you ask? To keep from being insanely angry at my inability to sleep.

Yes, you guessed it, my mom is here for the night again. We are heading down to Moab manana, so she came down this evening to allow for an earlier departure. Got here about 8:30 and immediately whisked me away to the Gap for some shopping. There is nothing to put me in a fouler mood quicker than a shopping trip with my mom, when I'm tired and overwhelmed and she can't stop talking about how fat she looks and how she HAS to lose weight, etc. But off we went, for the half hour before closing. Then home for a dinner of beans and Taco flavoured TVP (textured vegetable protein). It was delicious and I sold her on the taco stuff. It really tastes like tacos!! Maybe that was too late for me to be eating? Still, no excuse.

We got into bed around 10, and I laid by the light so I could read to put me to sleep, remembering previous nights with my mother and my inability to sleep. But try as I might, I could not get sleepy. Eventually I turned the light off and tried to breathe calmly, to tell myself not to worry, but all I could think about was the magazine article talking about preparing for a race, and how two nights before was actually the critical sleep night, as pre-race night is often filled with jitters. Well, something's jittering me tonight! I don't know if I am wigged out about this race, or just the anticipation of the drive and such tomorrow...something is keeping me up, and I feel like it has something to do with my visitor.

Sadly, i think this weekend is going to be hard. I turn mean when I'm around my mom, apparently. Add my brother, and two very different friends, and you have one very sketchy sounding weekend. I'll start off pulling an all-nighter, cause i dont see sleep coming in the next three hours, add a long drive, my typical family nastiness, then a grueling 13 mile run, and you basically have me exhausted the whole weekend and likely to make everyone hate me. This should be fun.

On the upside, I made green spaghetti for the staff lunch today, and got dougnuts and sugar cookies, and wore green, and bought green chips for the incoming staff. If I don't have kids, at least I have someone I can feed green food to. And my turtle got a freeze-dried fish in with her food. Weird, but she liked it.

Oh, and I ate lucky charms for breakfast. Let me tell you, my plan to eat pure and do yoga and run this whole week, plus chugging tons of water, has failed utterly. I've done none of those things. I am reading Born to Run, which is spectacular and makes me want to run ultramarathons (go 100 miles!), and also makes me feel like I'm a wuss for getting worried about 13 puny little miles, so I'm trying to use that to calm myself down when I get hysterical about not sleeping. But it also makes me wish I had actually trained properly or would be in any way at all ready for this run. Ah well, let the good times roll!

(but seriously, can everyone send me a little good karma saturday morning? I think I need it)