A Series of Unfortunate Events

Yesterday was a memorable day. It was supposed to be amazing, according to my horoscope. The best day ever! Which is why horoscopes are bad, and lead you to believe things will happen that won't. But anyway.

Here's how I thought my day would look:

6 AM wake up. yoga for an hour
7 AM get ready for work
8 AM Get to work, do some wonderful things until
12PM when I leave work to go snowboarding
4 PM come home after a wonderful day of snowboarding
Relax the rest of the eveing and get ready for two days of long work hours

Right. So here's how my day actually went:

6 AM woke up, after a couple of snoozes, for an hour of yoga
7:30AM got ready for work, including deciding, after a debate, to bring my snowboarding gear. I was tired and sore from a run the previous day (the worst run in the history of my runs), and wondered if I felt like snowboarding. Decided I did so I packed up and headed off to work.
12PM was informed I needed to help with a discharge for about two hours, as well as finish up an inventory I was not prepared for. I began to doubt my snowboarding plans.
2 PM realized snowboarding was not in the stars, but got excited to leave around 3 and go home and relax.
4:30 PM finally left work, disgruntled and saddened to be leaving so late but looking forward to relaxing.
4:25 PM Car suddenly died on the freeway, one exit away from work in American Fork. I coasted off and landed precariously on the exit off ramp, mostly out of everyone's way.
4:35 PM realized I needed a tow, and called the towing company.
4:45 PM realized I didn't have any money with me.
5:00 PM was towed for the first time ever. Cool trucks!
5:15PM back at work, to have my dad pay over the phone for my tow since I'm lame, then grab a work truck to take home
6:15PM arrive at home, lugging my snowboard, snowboarding bag, and laudnry basket up to my door, only to find my key won't unlock the deadbolt.
6:20PM start to panic, feeling like I'm somehow at the wrong house, or there at the wrong time in history and I no longer belong to it. It seriously felt like the lock had been changed.

At this point, I began a downward spiral into frustration, sadness, and disbelief. I called my roommate, she didn't answer. I imagined all sorts of horrible things that could have happened. Got my landlords number from a neighbor and called, also to no avail.

Wandered dejectedly to my stolen outback truck to get some food, when Jess called me back to say she had had no problem with her key and she'd be home soon. Landlady called back and said no changed lock, and wait for Jess to get home. I felt hopeful.

Unfotunatley, Jess' idea of "soon:" and my idea were different. After talking to her, I crouched in despair on the sidewalk for a while, looked at the stars, walked my snowboard out to the lawn and scooted around in tennis shoes for a while, then called Jess again to see where she could possibly be.

6:50PM Jess shows up, only to find her key doesn't work either.

7:00PM landlady calls us back; she never answers her phone on the first go. We tell her the plight and she sends us to on-site managers downstairs.

They aren't home.

7:15PM she calls us back again, says she's sending someone over in 15minutes.
7:45PM we call her back, wondering what's going on, sick of sitting in the hallway. She says she's buying some lubricant and will be by shortly. I dig in to the ice cream I had brought home from work that day to put in my freezer, now quite melted after a three hour delay. But I am starving and destitute in my hallway, panicky about my car and the unknown situation with it and my lack of ability to cross a 6 inch threshold into the warmth and comfort of my house. My feet are also frozen because I was frolicking in the yard with the snowboard.

8:00PM landlady shows up, sprays the lock, tried the key, nothing. She worries and thinks they'll need to come do something more drastic. I get ready for another hour or waiting and then some sort of breakin. (By get ready, I mean I almost break into tears and take deep breaths to try and calm the rising panic)

8:05PM she sprays it some more, tried the key and yeah!!!! It worked!!! I don't understand what happened, I just know that now we are in our house. And I am exhausted. And my night is completely gone.

Today was actually no better than yesterday, but this was negative enough so I'll just leave it at that. With the added info that my car is still at Outback, no more idea what is wrong than before, I have a busy day tomorrow and people expecting me to do things I can't, and my roommate is at the moment missing. But I'm in my house, eating food, watching a movie, feeding my turtle, relaxing on my very own time to do whatever I want, and so things are good.

Sigh. Jeta shkon.

2010 in review

What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?


Visited Omaha, Portland, and Yakima; bought and rode a scooter; quit grad school; saw Cloud Cult live
Did you keep your new years' resolutions?

I doubt it.
What are some of your resolutions for 2011?

Only eat sugar one day a week; have already broken that and may need to adjust to wean me down a little. But anyway, eat less and treat my body like it deserves to be treated, no more poison and gluttony.

Run a half-marathon (March) and a whole marathon (??!?!?!)

Love every day, or at least something about every day
Did anyone close to you give birth?

YES!!! So many people having babies. yeah!

Did anyone close to you die?

I don't believe I attended any funerals this year.

What countries did you visit?

mean. still just the us of a.
What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
A clue

What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

April 15th, first time seeing Cloud Cult, an amazing night in Chicago where some of my life plans got turned upside down.

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Getting a full time job I enjoy; buying my first vehicle, casting out old loss in the bottle and finally letting go
What was your biggest failure?

Continuing to judge and rank everything and everyone.
Did you suffer illness or injury?

Food poisoning one night, maybe a cold...nothing big.
What was the best thing you bought?

the aparment, though we're just renting it, and the scooter. oh and for sure the horse blanket for chris.
Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

several different conversations with unsatisfied single lds girls. and now church members in general often leave me appalled and angry, not depressed.
Where did most of your money go?

Freakin' car bomb, gas money, scooter, turtle, impulse buys, and maybe a little to hair stuff. and definitely rent.


What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Visiting Jackie, Lindsey, Wendy, and Derek; seeing Cloud Cult live, seeing smallcomb, liz having a baby, quitting Telos, riding my scooter

What song will always remind you of 2010?

Freakin' "hot then your cold" song that won't get out of my head, "Secrets" by One Republic, Regina Spektor, ... Light Chasers album

Compared to this time last year, are you: much happier, richer, nicer?

I am not richer, but more aware of my financial situation; soooo much happier, not sure about nicer. less fake nice though.
What do you wish you'd done more of?

Money saving. Friend making. Traveling. Performing.

What do you wish you'd done less of?

Making an ass of myself, caring that I made an ass of myself, or how people percieve me in general, waiting for things to happen, complaining, bad habits

How did you spend Christmas?

Relaxing with the fam, playing life, the drawing game, laughing hysterically with my family, snowboarding, sledding, cuddling with pets, watching movies, drinking (oops) and eating way too much,
Did you fall in love in 2010?

y7es, for just a little bit. but once he got married i swear, i got over it...

What was your favorite TV program?

For the short period there was a tv i got really into Modern family and, sadly, american idol. Then i bought some scrubs and office dvd's, and king of the hill, and enjoyed them thoroughly.
What was the best book you read this year?

Whale Wars certainly had the biggest impact

What did you want and get?

snowboard bindings, to live with jess in a huge place, jeans, season pass, keens, a real job, a scooter

What were your favorite films of this year?

How to Train Your Dragon!!!! Royal Tenenbaums
What were your least favorite films of this year?
why bother?
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

I worked for 12 hours, froze in a snowstorm at Oakley, then got stuck in the desert. Watched how to train your dragon the next day.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

being present for all of it

How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?

answer remains the same from last year: wha? fashion...?

What kept you sane?

personal ponder time, the outdoors, yoga, friends, love
Who did you miss?
all my friends who left me

Who was the best new person (people) you met?
I don't know.

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

Find out what you believe, cause if you don't, you won't stick to it. Life is immeasurably more beautiful than some of us let it be

What are you most excited for in 2011?

i have a lot of plans, and really its planning that makes me excited. the runs i will do, getting in shape once and for all, camping, traveling, life, what have you
What are you least excited for in 2011?

having little money as i attempt to pay off debt; trying to get a real job, fear

My Less Perfect Night

Well, before describing how tonight is, lets consider what I'd like it to be that it isn't.  I think my perfect night would be curling up in my huge, comfortable bed, and drifting off to sleep with pleasant thoughts of puppies or turtle snowflakes, or some other such wonderful happiness.

To be fair, this scene is played out on many nights, though its usually more that I pass out from exhaustion in my huge, comfortable bed. But that is really quite pleasant.

Tonight though, is one of those inexplicably sleepless nights. My mom is sleeping in my bed, and as I lay there trying to sleep next to her, I realized I may never be comfortable with someone else in my bed. I'd like to think that's not true, but typically my sleepless nights are when others stay the night with me.

Or perhaps its the rather large amount of caffeine in my system that keeps my mind and heart racing as I lay there, attempting to empty all thoughts. A lot happened today. I had work, with several awkward encounters with coworkers, an unexpected trip to D.I. looking for ugly sweaters for me and a therapist at my work, and our work party, where I wore said sweater all night, hot, uncomfortable, girl sized red sweater with kittens on it. I also made several blunders at this social event, as is my want, and maybe i'm thinking about that?

I think not though. I had several neat talks with people, pretty much enjoyed myself, and don't really care not being the coolest cat at the party. I have made some work-related mistakes involving finances, and that always freaks me out. But none of these things are really on my mind. My mind just won't slow down.

So now I'm out on my short couch, keeping my turtle up so she's splashing around in her dirty nasty tank I need to clean, wondering what I can do that will put me to sleep. I need sleep. I love it. And it loves me.

by the by, i bought a swimming pool for my turtle. pics to come when its all set up and ready :)

My Perfect Day

For the first time in a long time, I did not have to work on Saturday, or do anything else that I did not want to do. No commitments, no agenda. So I lay in bed Friday night and tried to decide how I would spend my precious day. What I came up with wasn't too exciting, but then it made me think about what I would do if I could do anything at all, if I had a whole day to use just as I pleased-how would I please? This is what I came up with:

I envisioned waking up early, so I didn't feel like I'd wasted any part of the day, but feeling refreshed and invigorated. I'd walk outside on my deck in the woods, smell the crisp, fresh air, feel a light breeze on my skin, hear birds chirping. I'd do yoga out there, surrounded by the sounds and the smells and the peace.

Then I'd visit with some good friends. Maybe we'd go for a walk through the trees, or make some kind of delicious food, or just sit outside and chat and laugh.

I would need to go for a walk or a run or something, some way to spend time outside and get centered, away from sidewalks and roads and cars and city noises. This made me realize I must be feeling cooped up in the city and needing to get out in nature more right now, because every happy thought I had involved nature.

I also think I'm feeling overworked, because I just saw me having a chill day, not high energy or anything. I wondered if my day would involve snowboarding or surfing, or even just some time at the beach, because these are things I love, but they all take so much time and effort, sapping your enegery, so right now they didn't make it to my perfect day. Although I think a trip out on a sailboat or out on the ocean would definitely be appropriate.

Then there would be a music session. Alone or with a group of people, I just want time to play, without feeling rushed or forced. Or time to write, to sit and ponder and reflect. To write the great novel I will someday publish...Some creative expression without distractions.

A run at dusk as the sun is setting and the world calms down. And then dinner and a night with the man I love. Yep, that would be awesome. If I could only find him.

So now I know what I want, how do I create this life for myself? I'm working on it.

And I believe it is located in the redwoods. Should I move there?

Secret Santa...at Thanksgiving

Last week my brother posted something on facebook about how he was out of money and  couldn't eat because of it. My brother often has money problems, and I have never felt obligated to get involved. I feel like a lot of my family's problems with money stem from my parents lack of ability to not bail out their children when things get tight.

So anyway, when I first read about his troubles, I determined not to mind and trust that he'd be okay for a few days. Then there was some conversation on his facebook; some girl told him to get top ramen, he mentioned that he liked top ramen but couldn't afford it. This was too much.

Failing to get into all the reasons why this is absurd, and all the misuses of money that led to this scenario, my sister sense could not let such a situation continue. It wasn't until he texted me that night though, just mentioning how excited he was for Thanksgiving and having cookies and such that I knew I had to act. I determined then and there I would make him some cookies and drive them up to him.

While not entirely convenient, this plan seemed illuminated from above as the only thing to do, and the more I thought about it, the more excited I got. I would make him cookies and biscuits!! And why not get him some ramen too? I can afford it, right now at least. And why stop at ramen? How many cheap, easy meals could I acquire for my baby brother?

I went to Macey's and loaded up on all the macaroni, ravioli, spaghetti, ramen, tortillas, frozen pizzas, and whatever else i could think of that he would eat, all the while with this warm little glow inside of me, this giddiness as I imagnied his response. I felt like Harry Potter when he takes that lucky potion stuff. Just happy, and like it was right.

I drove up to Salt Lake with a car full of food and cookies, and a heart full of gratitude that I could help out my brother when he needed it. He thought I was just coming to bring him cookies, though he assured me it wasn't necessary.  I just told him I wanted to and that I was on my way.

When I got to his house I told him I needed help and had him come to my car.  He was like "how many cookies did you bring?," but as soon as he opened the door and saw all the groceries, it was totally worth the money and the drive. It was so neat; he was really appreciative and I could tell it meant a lot to him.

I don't write this to make myself look good. I just wanted to share this happy happy story of holiday cheer and goodwill. Later that night my brother texted me this

"I wanted to thank you for the food. It gave me an overwhelming sense of hope and made me feel like I was on the right path with tryin to tighten the belt and fix my finances. It really was quite touching."

I like listening to those nice impulses and doing something to help others out. I like when it really does help them and make a difference. Yeah!

Woops

So one day at work last week, I decided I would mop the floor of the bay where I perform most of my duties. I don't often mop the floor; in fact, I've only mopped it once since I started this job four months ago. But I had most of the things off the floor and it looked sooo dirty that I decided I needed to mop it.

And I did.

Afterwards I was feeling hasty and just wanted to leave, end of the day and all. So at first I thought I'd just chuck the mop in a corner and leave it there, all dirty like and such. Cause that's how I roll. But then, I thought, "no. be responsible. rinse out that mop!"

So I turned on the sink and started rinsing. And then, the brilliant thought- "soak the mop! Soak the mop in hot water overnight!"

To fulfill this plan, I stuck the plug in the sink and left it running to fill up while I gathered my things and got ready to leave. Yes, that's exactly what I did. I got my things and I left.

I ran some errands, came home, got some food, then got a text message from a co-worker. The subject line: Flood!!!

Oops! It almost looked like I was attempting to destroy my company by water. Luckily our neighbors happened to look in the door and see the water pouring out of the sink and flowing around the room. Normally I'm the only one to go back there, so it would have been a long time before anyone caught my little mistake.

Sorry Outback. I'm a ditz!

The happy part is no one even knew about it except the guy that called me, and when I voluntarily told everyone else about it, they all just laughed. This is probably due to the fact that no gear was ruined. Had I done any real damage it probably would have been a much different story.

Alls well that ends well :)

Honestly?!

okay so I love where i live, it would be perfect but for a few absurdities, but as they come when I am most vulnerable and prone to anger, I sometimes feel that I can't stay here another day.

these disturbances all involve something messing with my sleep. As previously mentioned, living above me is an excellent violin player. He/she can play beautiful, haunting music that almost sounds like a recording. I appreciate this talent and Mystery Person's desire to express it. But the only time I ever hear it played is between the ours of 4 and 6 AM. Honestly? The violin is one instrument that is always loud, no matter what you're playing. And the walls/floor separating aparmtents are not very thick.

typically I've noticed the violin will play only if I've been practicing my violin the day before, like somehow its payback for me playing at the ungodly hour of 5 or 6 PM. Or it happnes when I get to sleep in an hour or so. The rare days I don't have to get up at 6, then the violin wakes me up and sends me into a dort of furious, impotent frenzy as I consider how rude and inappropriate it is to play such an instrument at such an hour. I never do anything about it, but i think...

then there's the stomping. What do I know ? Maybe they're just walking around and its super loud; maybe our downstairs neighbors feel the same way about us, but truly i've wondered sometimes if they have wild animals up there.

When I first moved in, I would hear these weird, scraping sounds, and running, running back and forth, over and over, again not starting until around 11 PM and sometimes going until 3 or 4. The most disturbing part is my mind, wondering what they could possibly be doing, what could be going on. Why back and forth? Why so late? Why the jumping, as with last night, jumping and running-is someone gettin beat up there? Should I be concerned? Jumping? Acrobats, at one in the morning. Why?

Because today is the weekend, and I should be able to sleep in. What? Sleep in? Heavens no! We must stop that at all costs! It's like when I lived by BYU and the ROTC guys would run in the morning, run right past my window at 5 AM chanting loudly. Like this morning, when my exhausted stupor finally sent me to peaceful oblivion despite the upsets, some school by my house took matters into its own hands and a siren went off a little before 7. Went off, and kept going off, loudly. Maybe someone broke in. Should I call the cops? is htis dangerous? Why don't the cops come? Why doesn't the alarm go off?

One things for sure. Someone or something does not want me getting too much cleep here, and they're determined to see that through.

Its quiet now, but for how long?!!?